what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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