trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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