i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
