my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
