what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
