The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
