You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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