i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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