I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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