I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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