I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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