He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
