Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
