After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
