I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
