I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
