At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
