Kiss
Puke
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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