hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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