A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
