I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
