Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
