Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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