It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
50% drunk capacity currently
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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