they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize