as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
