Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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