So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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