Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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