im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sext me about skeletons
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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