You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
try to milk me bitch
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