Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
