My underwear smells like fireworks.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize