My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize