omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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