If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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