Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
