Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
