Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I would ride that face into the sunset
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
