i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
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she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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