so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
