tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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