If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
