dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
