Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Randomize