I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
