If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
