Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We need a shit load of segways right now
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
