You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
