I think my fart just growled at me.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
