he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
