We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
