By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
