when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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