we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
