i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
